And I'm not really sure what to think about that.
Last night as I slipped into bed, I heard my mom exclaim the news and run downstairs to watch coverage with my dad. But I was tired and there was school the next day and I don't think that it fully sunk in exactly what his being gone for good really meant. I just wanted to go to bed.
Then today, it was all the buzz in social studies class as people relayed their different versions of what they heard had happened so much to the point that I barely even believed it was true anymore. And when I got home from school and sat down to the computer and saw the headlines on Firefox's homepage and on the cover of The NY Times and rolling across the bottom of our television screen, I realized how fast everything was happening- so much so that I barely had a moment to think about all of it. I knew that I should be thrilled and excited and in the mindset that justice has been served to someone who deserved it more than anyone else in the world. But, as last nights coverage of the thousands of people who went down to ground zero at the earliest hours of the morning to chant "USA" and the national anthem and celebrate the extermination of Bin Laden like it was new years eve, I couldn't help but think how barbaric it was. I know that I should have found the video to be heart-warming and inspirational as I looked into the joyful faces of people who had been so personally scarred by his attack on The World Trade Center. But when I saw their streamers and horns and raised fists and American flags, it seemed like the saddest thing in the world for our country to be celebrating the death of this person as much as we are. Even after what he did, even after who he hurt, how many he hurt, and the cruel ways in which he hurt them.
He was still a person.
Right?
And then I couldn't help but think about how if I- as someone was barely at all personally affected by 9/11 and is likewise not personally harmed or could benefit from Bin Laden's death- was so shaken up and confused by all of this, then how would someone like, say, Oskar Schell react?
Oskar would be 18 now.
Oskar Schell- an adult.
What an impossible thought that is.
Would he be the same? Confused and searching for answers like he was 10 years ago? Would he think the same as me-- that it was wrong to have killed someone no matter who they were?
Or, the more likely of the two, the obvious answer, the response that is only in his natural human nature to have, the thing that makes me almost agree with Bin Laden's killing-
Would he be at Ground Zero- chanting and shouting and grinning at the fact that his dads killer had finally gotten what he deserved?
8 year old Oskar Schell.
So confused.
So scared.
Searching for something to make sense.
To fit in.
To justify it all
Would he be one of those people? Those people whose faces I thought to be barbaric? Is that who they all were-- just "Oskar Schell"s? Angry parents and sons and daughters and husbands and wifes and sisters and brothers and friends who were so hurt and broken- who were changed for good because of what Bin Laden did, whose once happy, carefree 8 year old smiles had been turned into the stone cold face of an angry adult who rejoiced in the killing of another human being?
I can't bear the thought of Oskar Schell being the face that represents all of those people, but I know that- were he real- it would most likely be the side he took. Because it's easy for someone like me who is shielded and unharmed from these horrors to say that killing is bad. But, in reality, how does someone who's childhood was stolen from them ever forgive the person who took it and their father away?
The ending of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, being one of the saddest endings of any book I've ever read, tied up no loose ends. It just further expressed Oskar's vulnerability and anger and confusion about every heartbreaking thing that happened to him in a powerful and affecting way. It showed that he never healed.
We would have been safe
It showed that maybe he, like so many other victims of this tragedy, never would heal.
It confirmed and supported that Oskar would not forgive and forget- he, instead, would be rejoicing over the death of the man who took that precious safe feeling and reality away from him
As I look into the faces of the people who celebrated at Ground Zero last night, I have to try to imagine seeing Oskar Schell and think to myself "would I maybe support them if he was there?". Because, essentially, they are all people just like Oskar Schell, for all I know. Their story is reminiscent of his own. They are people who have reason to be there, even if I don't agree with it. I have to try to see it all from their point of view.
But even then, does standing and celebrating in the spot where it all began really end it? Will killing Bin Laden give anyone closure? Will rejoicing over it ease anyone's pain? And, I don't know the answer to any of that because I've never experienced it before, but in my humble opinion, it really won't. Still, I think it's impossible for someone to go through that and come out in that positive mindset. I can go and preach about this all I want, but the truth is that if I was in their situation, I'd probably do the same, think the same, act the same. Wouldn't I?
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